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TOPIC: drabbles. because i love procrastination. [ if i could. patriots/end. pg5 ]


RiverClan Warrior

Status: Offline
Posts: 2635
Date:
drabbles. [ fisherclaw one-shot. pg5. because i have no life. ]


title: happy days.

summary: i'll make them for you because there's just not enough time for the two of us to be happy.

genre: angst/family/friendship

pairing: none

notes: i'm on a roll today! not with nanowrimo. *neverendingtears...* but with developing fisherclaw. i torture her. hopefully she'll be happy in the end. :D

story / begin ;;

Growing up, I was given a lot.

[Growing up, I was told I didn't deserve it.]

I think that's when I began to distance myself. And then, because of that, they scorned Mama. Called her terrible and a disgrace to our family. I tried to change. I didn't want them to think that. Mama was never a disgrace. She was always a strong she-cat. Why else did Papa fall for her? They were perfect together, until everyone called Mama out. Called her an embarrassment to our family. But she isn't. She never was. And she always held her head high. She told me that, It will always be fine in the end, and if it isn't, it isn't the end yet, love. And for a long time, Mama's words kept me strong and reminded me that I was stronger than their words.

But watching her grow wearier and wearier each day worried me. So I became complacent. I followed orders. I never spoke unless prompted to. And slowly, but surely, they stoped calling Mama a disgrace. But I don't know what I became. I don't know what I am. They still don't think highly of me. They think of me as something there - something to be looked at, and passed by without a second thought. I guess I should be glad about that, after how they treated Mama and I. But I'm not. I changed to be acknowledged in a positive way. But here I still stand, scorned behind blanketed whispers in the cold of the night - and during my summer dreams. So, to make it up to my family, I watched over Amberleaf. I promised to keep her out of trouble, because, just like Grandfather, her absent-mindedness often got her in trouble.

[Something about the way she acts makes me nervous.]

And being seen with her, it helped stop the whispers. I know Amberleaf was always oblivious to them. I know that she didn't hear them. And her kind eyes always leave me unnerved. My entire life I had been shown animosity and disdain. But with her, it was like there was nothing but happiness. When I figured that out, I made a promise to my Grandmother's grave. That, no matter what, I would make sure Amberleaf was always happy. Because, with the world, there's just not enough time for both of us to be happy and if anyone had a greater chance at being happy, it was her. Even if every day my jealousy towards her grows. It eats my insides and leaves me an uncaring cousin. My promise forges through, though. I promised. I will uphold that promise until the day I die.

[Because, even when envy is sucking me dry, a promise is a promise, never to be broken.]

She doesn't see, though. She doesn't see the glances that all of them throw her. Ones of admiration and love. Glances I only recieved from my mother and father. But she? She recieves them from everyone. Even Bluesong, who seems to act aloof and cold when really, I think she's too scared to acknowledge that there's more to her world. But I started hearing them again - the whispers, I mean. They're talking about me. Calling me worthless and wondering why I'm a warrior and why I haven't given up yet and left to rot in the moors where they hope birds will claw my eyes out and eat me until there's nothing left. And they think I don't hear them, and flash me smiles when they walk by, but I hear them, taunting me every second of the day.

[But I remember that promise and I keep my word.]

This makes me hardened. But somewhere, I find freedom. In running. Almost every morning, I run. I just run, not knowing or caring where I stop. Because, even if I disappeared, nobody but Amberleaf would notice and, even then, nobody would truly care. And I'd love to run until I die. It would be wonderful. I would die in serenity. Or maybe happiness. I don't know what feeling properly describes the feeling I get. The adrenaline and the shaking from the overload of the chemical make me feel alive and free and lets me wishhopebelieve that I'm not just a pawn in this life, but I am a strong warrior with a purpose in life, other than making someone I'm jealous of happy. And every morning, the feeling ends and the shaking is still there, but the feeling is no more than a memory and I close up and feel scared that I won't ever get to feel that again. Because I made a promise. And if I had to stop running to make her happy, I would. Because I made a promise. And I never go against my word.

[I feel lost because I'm holding onto words that no one knows.]

I told myself that, if I could find one reason to stay, even something as simple as vibrations and breath leaving my throat and snaking through my lips making me remember and forget why I hatehatehate, then I will. Even when I have over a million reasons to leave, I will stay until the day I die, because I am a simple being with simple needs. But some days, my thoughts are not simple and repressing my hatehatejealousyhate is not simple and I want to run and see who will follow me and who will forget the day I was born and be glad I was gone.

[And in a way, it scares me more than dying.]

Because there's no reassurance that someone will follow. It hurts. It stings. Every day, it kills me inside more and more, and I become less and less simple and more of a complex, ugly creature hiding behind a plain face.

[ b e c a u s e my life was too short. ]

Because life is short. Because life is short, I keep her safe. Because life is short, I keep her in the know. Because life is short, I am aloof. Because life is short, I will change, if it means making her days happy and mine nothing. Because life is short, only one of us can be happy.

[ b e c a u s e life is short, i chose her. ]



-- Edited by Florestapaw on Sunday 6th of November 2011 10:13:59 PM

__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.



RiverClan Warrior

Status: Offline
Posts: 2635
Date:

title: what's this?

summary: AU "hello? hello? is this thing on?" "it's on. stop breathing all over it." -- sasuke/OC. holidays

genre: friendship/romance

pairing: sasuke/oc

notes: because i should start memorizing my passage from macbeth. i should. because i've decided i like the naruto fandom again.

story / begin ;;

Tapping on the glass, she snorts in frustration as he looks on with a bemused glint in his eyes. Pressing a myriad of buttons, she leans back, hands on her hips.

"Is there something wrong with this? Did I press the wrong button?"

He doesn't reply and stares at the blinking red light with a slight, "Hn."

She shakes it slightly and decides to shout. "Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?"

"It's on. Stop breathing all over it."

"Well, you could've told me a while ago, but no! You had to be a know-it-all." With a huff, she sits next to him on the couch and smiles. Throwing her arms into the air, she grins. "So, hey mom, dad! I'm sorry we couldn't be there for Christmas, so I'm sending you the next best thing; a video."

Beside her, he snorts and she shoots a quick glare at him. "Sasuke. Attitude," she chides.

He sends he a stiff stare before raising a hand in greeting. "... hello, mister and missus Soot." He shoots her an equally harsh glare as he hisses through gritting teeth, "Happy, Dex?"

Smiling, she nods with a clap of her hands, turning back to the camera. "Anywho! I just wanted to say Merry Christmas! Tell big brother I'm sorry I couldn't be there. I didn't mean to make my schedule so tight. You know how I love being home for the holidays!"

"Thank you for letting her stay with me," adds Sasuke, and she can't help but send him a startled look. Brushing it off, she smiles brilliantly. Because somewhere along the way she came to the understanding that he would never be so open.

"Yes, well... yeah. Thank you. So much. I miss you guys but... it was about time, right?" She says it with such soft conviction that for a second, he worries that he pulled her away from something that kept her feeling safe.

She wraps her hand around his and all worry leaves him because he knows - it's just a gut feeling and, though he's an Uchiha and Uchiha's never trust their gut, he knows it's meant to be - that he made the right decision.

"Aah," he chimes in. She snorts in reply and smiles softly.

"Also... tell brother congratulations on his baby boy. I'll visit them as soon as possible. I just know he'll grow up to be as great as him and dad." She scratchs the back of her neck with her free hand and sighs - contendedly, he hopes - while looking at the camera.

To him, she seems so sentimental and corny that he's borderline amused, though mostly worried.

"Oh, and I think I'm going to take a few classes on how to work this thing... I don't really know how... So pardon the first few minutes..."

Sasuke snorts and Dex shoves him over, taking him slightly by surprise. As a sort of reply, he drags her down with him. With a petrified shriek she falls with him, tumbling then rolling a few inches away.

"What was that for? You ungrateful little -"

"You pushed me." The way he said it didn't continue the argument. No, rather, it ended it in a way that only he could.

Combing her hair down once more, she situates herself on the couch - a good length away, much to his chagrin - and grins. "As I was saying."

"As I was saying," interupts Sasuke with a smirk. "I proposed to your daughter."

"No you -"

"Okay. Fine. Here's the ring. We're engaged now." He looks away from her - is he blushing?! - and snorts, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like, "you'resuchanidiotiwasaboutto..."

So in reply, she just smiles and slips on the ring - a rose with a princess-cut white diamond in the middle and a small red diamond on the edge of each of the outer petals. Because she was always better with emotion.

"So now I can tell you how much I hate that sweater on you. The pattern isn't exactly flattering."

And in a flurry of Christmas reds, greens and white, she flings herself at him with fury because, no matter the fact he just eloquently declared his love for her, he will not diss the holiday sweater.



-- Edited by Florestadream on Monday 5th of December 2011 03:20:10 AM

__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.



RiverClan Warrior

Status: Offline
Posts: 2635
Date:
drabbles. because i love procrastination.


title: let's say.

summary: AU-ish runaways. -- valerie-centric

genre: friendship/romance

pairing: valerie; slight mentions of valerie/dex x ghost town??

notes: BECAUSE I HATE WRITING COMMONPLACES. and i have no inspiration so this is what's being created... OTL

after-writing edit: that's short. D: i'm such a failure.

story / begin ;;

She always wondered what her life would've been like if she had died on that first mission. But as quickly as that thought arises it disappears because no, she's too much of a wimp to think of dying - if she had died she wouldn't be thinking though, and that thought has become something of a comfort.

As she stands in front of Gloria and says, "Valerie." Valerievalerievalerie, she thinks, what did i just do? but also feels that it was about time she grew up all the way and stopped hiding behind an alias and took the name that - even if it was given to her - always felt right when it rolled off her tongue. But when he gives her that look she feels betrayed but also disloyal and doesn't know what to say.

So she says what she thinks he wants to hear, and then moves on because she's chosen to walk away from them and the deaths and find what she belongs to. If they follow her, she does not listen or acknowledge because she has decided and she has started - started walking and it feels so good.

If she is leaving him behind, she is scared. She doesn't want to lose someone she's learning to love. But at the same time, she knows that they have lives to live and pasts to ignore and so she keeps walking. If he is following, she is comforted. But all the same, even if they are facing the future together, she feels that one day... one day their paths will stop intertwining and continue on in their own paths.

But to her, that is okay because... because, honestly, she never expected to have someone by her side for this long. And after having that feeling she never wants to let it go. But she does. Because she's used to waiting and letting go.

Right now she wants to dance under the sunshine that is him - him and warmth and comfort and everything that is right, and imagine that she isn't actually waiting in the rain for a sun that will never rise and, in actuality, will never set. But if she doesn't, that's okay, too. Because as graceful as she is, she never truly wanted to be a dancer.



-- Edited by Florestadream on Sunday 11th of December 2011 07:45:58 PM

__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.



WindClan Deputy

Status: Offline
Posts: 12977
Date:

Oh my gershness D8 That is so amazingly awesome!! XD I love these stories!!! You are such a fantastic writer Retsa :'D I'm such a dork that I don't post more often on these... Bad Ebbs. Definitely should do that more ^^" Anyway, I love the ones about your RP characters, not necessarily cause you mention my characters, but because it helps me get an insight in to how your character thinks. Its very cool! Lovin' the writing! Keep it up 8D

__________________

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RiverClan Warrior

Status: Offline
Posts: 2635
Date:

title: until the sun runs out.

summary: AU i can dance and sing and do whatever i want. -- valerie-centric

genre: friendship/romance

pairing: valerie; slight mentions of valerie/dex x ghost town??

notes: because i'm in a nostalgic-ish mood and listening to a cd with an amazing beat.

story / begin ;;

It wasn't done yet - NAGA wasn't completely gone yet, and Henry wasn't dead, but she felt accomplished - so, so accomplished. For the first time in years she had seen the sun - had taken her long strides in the rays and felt the heat soak into her skin. For the first time in a long while she smiled - truly smiled - and laughed and sang - though when did she ever really sing before that? Everyone was surprised but every knew - they just knew - that she had it in her all the time. It made her happy to dance in the sun - to sing and feel clean air. So as they completed the mission she took her time because it felt so good and she never knew when the next time she would feel the sun would be. Many times she felt the silky rays of the moon, and maybe, if she hadn't felt that in a while, that would feel good, too. But standing in the rough rays of the sun felt like a shower.

So when she returned and found her place in the apartment - barren and cold and empty and impersonal - she laid down and laid and laid and laid until there was a knocking and "he's here". She didn't immediately jump up as she would have years ago. No, her bones had taken enough of a beating and her once-warm heart had cooled down again and stopped cheering. She slid up - slowlyslowlyslowly - and opened her door, slipping on a pair of boots - no longer thick and heavy but loose and light and comfortable - and following the voice. Nothing really registered. She didn't know anymore. She didn't know if she wanted to see him again, because she had gotten along fine with a broken heart and a heavy mind because, somewhere along the way, it mended and lightened because that is just the way we roll.

Many times she ran this meeting through her mind. Would she yell at him? Hate him? Or would she cry and laugh and love again? Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew, no, nothing. Because she no longer felt anything for him and that - that was okay with her. So when her legs didn't feel heavy and her heart didn't skip a beat as she saw his face and instead she stuck out a hand with a kind smile she felt and knew and said she knew. Because his face wasn't as worn as hers and she had known - she knew that her path would untangle from his and nothing would turn out like her childish fairtytales, though she loved them when she was still so young. Because his hands weren't smooth but wrought with callouses and dirt embedded under his finger nails - did he plant? was he a farmer? - and that felt so familiar she felt happy. Because even if he was married and her life was stil a solo trip, they were still there and happy.

Because until the sun runs out, she can sing and dance and run until her lungs give out.

"Hope life's been treating you well."

"I know."



__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.



WindClan Deputy

Status: Offline
Posts: 12977
Date:

D8 ................ WHY?!!! That's so sad D:Well, in a nostalgic sort of way :3 Stupid Ghost Town's a jerk for not catching her while he had the chance >:(
Very awesome Resta! Still just loving your writing skillz!

__________________

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RiverClan Warrior

Status: Offline
Posts: 2635
Date:

haha thank you! and I KNOW. STUPID GHOST TOWN. haha

__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.



RiverClan Warrior

Status: Offline
Posts: 2635
Date:

http://howeveryouseeme.deviantart.com/

i'm always there.

__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.



RiverClan Warrior

Status: Offline
Posts: 2635
Date:
RE: drabbles. because i love procrastination. [ i'm on dA! ]


title// crooked circle. patriots and not.
genre// angst/comfort, family
summary// dex, ghost town, shepard. there's something crooked and wrong about their friendships and it's okay.
disclaimer// ghost town/william and daniel/shepard are not my characters and belong to their respectful owners. i only own this piece of fiction and dex/valerie. the patriots and all ideas stemming from the roleplay also belong to ebonycloud.
notes// i killed her. sorry. (slightly canon!verse because i'm not sure what i'm going to do with her.) not beta-ed. sorry the writing is confusing. i'm trying to become clearer but everything comes out slow and flowing and poetry. sorry.

` x ` x ` x ` x ` x ` x ` x ` x `

In some sick, twisted way, they were her boys and she was theirs.

Somewhere, in their messed up bonding, they became a group, an entity a bond. And none of them had that big of a problem with it because it was always there, anyways. They were cold, apathetic killers - well, she was and they sort of were - and that was a way for them to bond. Maybe it was their little talks at the beginning or maybe it was when they noticed. But it was always there and she didn't come to care about the bonds anymore and neither did they. Their bond was a sick, twisted circle of lies and deceit and hatred and undying love somehow.

They're not okay with such a broken circle. The lines are cracked and twisted and oh-so-alluring that they care. So they attempt to smooth the lines and make it shine. It doesn't last long because it will always, always revert back to a broken circle.

They ran.

She watched them run away and prayed everything - everything oh God help us everything - would be okay. Even though she knew it wouldn't. A big part of her was okay with it and a bigger part of her wasn't. The last thing she saw was numbers and a stranger's face. She hoped that the last thing they saw would be something prettier. She hoped they'd get married to someone pretty and name a kid after her - boy or girl, Dex was a flexible name unless they chose Valerie then it'd have to be a girl and she scrunches her nose at that because Valerie isn't pretty enough for their children - and have a nice life. She doesn't know if they do - they do live a rather mundane life after but they hardly care to marry or have kids or even have a job - but she smiled in her last moments and pretended that they were living happily.

In the end, she gave her life for them because they were always - always - her boys.



__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.



RiverClan Warrior

Status: Offline
Posts: 2635
Date:
RE: drabbles. because i love procrastination. [ patriots. pg5 ]


title// if i could.
genre// angst/comfort, romance-esque.
summary// i would give you the world.
pairing// ghost town/william cassidy & dex/valerie soot
disclaimer// ghost town/william is not my character and belongs to ebbs. i only own this piece of fiction and dex/valerie. the patriots and all ideas stemming from the roleplay also belong to ebonycloud.
notes// canon. oh yeah. let the games begin. DON'T STEAL OR I SWEAR TO GOODNESS GRACIOUS I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KHFHASLFHSLFS. i love this piece. don't know why. just do. dear to my heart. 

__

__

` and from your lips she drew a hallelujah.

"Keep up, fool!"

"It's not exactly easy when you can easily control yourself as you make turns!"

"Well make it work, William!"

"I told you - call me Ghost Town!"

"Sure thing." Over her shoulder, she offers him a calm and collected smile and a short burst of a laugh he has grown to know so intimately.

He can't help but smile back. "Yeah, you say that every time."

"I just like to see you riled up!" she throws over her shoulder. Her laugh is sharp and biting as she dives under a low branch and throws her body into the motion that pulls her into a somersault and vertical once again.

__

__

__



if i could.



__

__

__

` hallelujah, hallelujah.

The circumstances were different this time - he knew they would be, but the severity of how bad the situation boggles his mind. But she? She doesn't feel a thing. Left turn, right turn, up the stairs, through this doorway, up the stairs again. All she can think of is how to get there faster and more timely than him. Not the man she chases - no. If she had the choice, he would already be dead. But so would he. So as the lactic acid builds up in her legs - "Keep running, fool!" "I am, you narcissic woman!" - she keeps going because she knows there is no other way.

But really, it was all a blur. One moment she follows him into a room and the loud humming noise is suddenly echoing in her ears and she knows. It's time for the grand finale and oh - oh oh oh she always called them a tragedy and she always, always wanted to be called the hero because heroes always die. Sheperd was a hero - even more so than she - "Go, you idiots - he's getting away!" "A-alright!" - but he had his time already, and now it's her's.

The man - Henry. Henry, Henry, Henry. He faces her and she can't speak because his glare freezes the words in her mouth and he puts his hand on the gun and says, "You have thirty seconds."

She replies, "I'll only need ten," because it's the truth. She's still lying to herself anyways. Zipping open her vest - when had she grabbed those - on the fourth floor, on the fourth floor - she pulls out a belt and it's lined with grenades and he understands so perfectly well - all three of them do. And she just has this sad sort of smile playing on the edge of her lips and she turns to face him. Him in his all his emotions - the ones she had come to love, even.

And the man behind her, now, is so, so frantic to get the shields down but he can't because he thought he timed this perfectly but he didn't and the other one is still on the other side of the shield and how could he mess up so badly? But she ignores him and lines her hand with his, and says,

"We are a tragedy and I am the hero and there is no stopping me. I sort of maybe fell for you but that's okay. Name one of your children Dex and make sure your wife is pretty so Dex won't be a name for ugly children. And I really, really did fall for you but, that's in the past now and banging like that won't do anything you idiot and I'm so, so sorry this is how we ended."

And she turns and she activates all the grenades and counts in her head.

__

__

__

` hallelujah.

Ten...

"I am fearless."

Nine...

"Nothing can take me down."

Eight...

"Fear is what consumes me."

Seven...

"We are a tragedy."

Six...

"I will go on."

Five...

"Forever, I promise."

Four...

"I want to be the hero in this story."

Three...

"It'll be me as a statue."

Two...

"I'm not really leaving you, per se -"

One...

"I really, really kind of lo - like you - like you!"

Zero...

"I love you, you idiot of a man."

__

__

__

"This is for you."

__

__



__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.

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