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TOPIC: Broken - Chapter 5 is up


ThunderClan Warrior

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Broken - Chapter 5 is up


Here's the prologue for my unamed fan-fic. Hope you like it! And I'll try and post more soon!! :D







PROLOGUE

The cool breeze of new-leaf rippled the leaves.  The air was strong with the scents of prey and other clan cats. A black she-cat crouched hidden within the bracken, stalking an unsuspecting mouse.  She was nearly a tail-length away from her helpless prey, when the sound of pawsteps caught her attention.  Upon the newcomers loud presence, the mouse scurried off before the warrior could sink her claws into it.

"Fox-dung!" the black cat hissed.

"Darkflower," purred a raspy voice that was all too familiar for her liking.  "Surely upon my absence you havent obtained such a foul mouth?"

Darkflower spun around to face the brown tom who had stolen her heart, only the lead their clan into inescapable misery. "Brokenstar!" she spat. "What in the name of StarClan are you doing of ShadowClan territory?"

Brokenstar looked taken aback for only a moment before he let out a grim laugh that made the fur on Darkflowers pelt prickle.

"You always were the fiery type, Darkflower.  That was one of the qualities that attracted me to you."

Darkflower felt a deep growl emerge from her throat.  She shealthed and unshealthed her sharp claws to keep herself calm.  "It's too late for sweet-talk, Brokenstar!" she hissed.  "Because of you, ShadowClan feels as if Im not loyal to them.  I wouldnt be surprised if Fernkit and Oakkit are never treated equally!"

A dark smile appeared on the rouges face.  "That's exactly what I came to talk to you about.  I am here for my kits," he meowed coolly.

Darkflower raised her hackles and let out a furious hiss.  "You will never see those kits!  Ever!  The only time you will is when they chase you out of Clan territory back to where you belong; among those other retched rogues!"

          Brokenstar held the she-cats burning gaze.  "You can shelter them for now, love," his eyes shone triumphantly, "but sooner or later, they will join me." And without another word, the dark rogue turned back into the bracken and vanished.EDIT: I added quotation marks, Stormfur noticed I didn't have any.  Thanks Stormfur!

-- Edited by Rainpelt at 22:58, 2007-11-08

-- Edited by Rainpelt at 23:50, 2007-11-10

-- Edited by Rainpelt at 16:50, 2007-11-17

-- Edited by Rainpelt at 22:37, 2007-11-19

-- Edited by Rainpelt at 13:17, 2007-12-23

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ThunderClan Warrior

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Rainpelt's Fan-Fiction


There's no " so it's hard to tell where it starts and ends.
But very nice job so far. ^^

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ThunderClan Warrior

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oh darn!! I wrote it in Microsoft Word and it must have deleted the quotation marks when I pasted it here!! Don't worry, I'll fix it! Thanks for pointing that out!

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ThunderClan Warrior

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Chapter 1

            "Rainpaw, stop being so uncertain of yourself!" the silver she-cat scolded her new apprentice.

            Rainpaw stared at her paws, not wanting to meet her mentors disappointed glare. "I'm sorry, Silverstream.  I just cant do this stuff.  Im not as strong as the other apprentices."

            Silverstream sighed.  "Rainpaw, youre never going to become a warrior with that attitude."  She detected the shame clouding in the young cats eyes.  "Listen," she meowed, settling herself next to Rainpaw, "I know you think just because youre not as strong or powerful as your brothers, but theres more to being a warrior than just strength."

            Rainpaws eyes brightened gratefully.  "There is?" she mewed.

            "Of course!  You have to have speed and agility.  And you have to be confident."

            The apprentice stared at her mentor, a thankful glint shone in her blue eyes.  Rainpaw had only just become an apprentice two dawns ago.  And although her brothers had begun training the same time she had, she felt that they had made much more progress than she had.  Already they were using their new fighting moves against her, leaving her no choice but to surrender helplessly.

            With a new spirit of determination, Rainpaw leapt to her paws, ready for Silverstreams next lesson.

           

            Days came and went, faster with each training session Rainpaw had with Silverstream.  They padded toward the river near Sunningrocks.  The scent of ThunderClan was fresh.  Instinctively, she shealthed her claws, prepared to take on any warrior trespassing on RiverClan territory.  "Relax," she heard Silverstream warn gently, "were very close to the ThunderClan border.  Its only natural for the scent to be strong.  A patrol must have just passed by here."

            Obeying her mentors orders, Rainpaw let her muscles relax.  Although she found the thought of fighting off alien warriors away from clan territory, Rainpaw couldnt help feel relieved that there would not be a battle here today.  She still felt as if she would never become a warrior her clan could be proud of, and didnt want that idea to be distilled in their minds while she had so little training.

            Hiding her fears from her mentor, Rainpaw asked eagerly, "So, what are doing here?"

            Silverstream padded up to the edge of the bank and gazing intently into the clear water.  "I'm going to teach you how to catch a fish."

            The young cats eyes widened with excitement.  Rainpaw knew that the ability to fish was a special gift of all RiverClan cats possessed.  All of her doubts faded away as she padded up next to her mentor.

            "When you fish," Silverstream began, "you position yourself so youre facing the sun.  That way, youre shadow doesnt show on the water.  Like this."  Silverstream crouched down near the water, taking care to keep her shadow off the water.  "Then, when a fish swims up, you--"  With one quick movement, she slashed her forepaw into the water and flung the fish onto the bank, killing it in one blow.

            "Whoa," Rainpaw gasped.

            Silverstream smiled with affection at her new apprentice.  "Now you try," she purred.

            Rainpaw swallowed, and followed the example Silverstream had set for her.  She stared down at her reflection.  After a few moments, a large trout swam along the side of the river.  Mimicking her mentors every move; Rainpaw quickly reached into the cool water and grabbed the fish.  As her prey flew onto the ground, she killed it with one swift move.

            The silver she-cats eyes widened with approval.  "Very good; not many cats make a catch their first time."  There was a hint of shock in her voice.  "After seeing that, I have not doubt youll make a wonderful warrior someday."  Rainpaw's heart leapt at her mentors praise.  "You may not be the strongest, but when it comes to speed, youre almost as fast as a rabbit!  Thats something most warriors would kill for, and it looks like you got it."

            Rainpaw padded back to the camp with a new disposition.  Her mentor had said she would become a wonderful warrior.  She just prayed to StarClan that Silverstream was right.

______________________________________________________________

Here's Chapter 1!!



-- Edited by Rainpelt at 23:57, 2007-11-08

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RiverClan Leader

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That was good! ^__^
Again, the quotation marks were taken away though. ;D
But it sounds like a real warrior book!

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Thank you Ebbs!! <3



ThunderClan Warrior

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thanks!! That really means a lot to me!

Arg!! I'm sorry about that!! I'll fix it!

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Loner

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I luved it! great job

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ThunderClan Warrior

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It does sound like a real Warrior book! o.o
Awesome job. :)

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Loner

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I loved the part were rainpaw regaind confidence in herself!

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WindClan Warrior

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Hey, another story! The fan-fiction board seems to be gaining popularity fairly fast...

Anyway, it's awesome! Like one of the books! The only thing wrong, though, are some missing... whatever ' <--- these are called. No problem, though; it's still really good.



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