Hey, another story! The fan-fiction board seems to be gaining popularity fairly fast...
Anyway, it's awesome! Like one of the books! The only thing wrong, though, are some missing... whatever ' <--- these are called. No problem, though; it's still really good.
Yeah, I know...I wrote it in Microsoft Word and when I pasted it here it deleted all the quotations and apostrophes (that's waht they're called by the way). So I replaced all the quotes cuz it was too hard to read without them, but I was too lazy to do the apostophes...
And Flamepaw, this should answer your question too...I think. Were you saying I don't get it to Levipaw, or to the story? If it's to the story, what dont you get? Maybe I can help clarify
Fernpaw's eyes flickered open.As the blinding light of the morning sun cascaded its way in the apprentices den, his heart fluttered with excitement.Todays the day, he whispered to himself.He stood up, shook the moss from his black fur, and prodded the bundle of dark brown fur sleeping beside him."Cmon, Oakpaw!" Fernpaw hissed. "Wetfoot and Littlecloud will be waiting for us."
As soon as the words left his lips, Oakpaw's amber eyes shot open."Alright, I'm up," he meowed excitedly. "Let's get going!"The two cats scrambled out of the den and padded over to the two older cats sitting by the fresh-kill pile.
"Well, there you are," meowed the gray tabby tom. "Sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you," replied Oakpaw confidently.
Fernpaw saw a glimmer of anger in the old tom's eyes, "Uh, sorry we kept you waiting, Wetfoot."
Just as Wetfoot was about to reply, the smaller tom cut him off, "There's no need to apologize now," the small tabby said gently. "Go get yourselves some fresh-kill, then we'll be on our way."
"Yes, Littlecloud," meowed Fernpaw.They grabbed themselves a plump rabbit to share and headed over to where the other apprentices were enjoying their own meals.
"Hey, you two," greeted a pretty she-cat named Poppypaw.
"Hello," responded Fernpaw, settling himself beside his brother.
"Excited for your first day of training?" asked Brownpaw, the oldest of the four apprentices.
"You bet," mewed Oakpaw through a mouthful of fresh-kill.Fernpaw stared at the half-eaten rabbit.Any other time, he would be glad to fight over it with his brother, but today anxiety pulled at his stomach like a rushing river.This was the day he had been waiting for since he was a kit.His worries of failing his clan buzzed in his ears.Although no one ever mentioned anything to him or Oakpaw, he couldnt shake the feeling that his Clanmates didn't completely trust them.He licked his flank, hoping to wash away all his doubts.
He glanced at Oakpaw, who was comfortably chatting with Poppypaw.How can he be so comfortable around them? he wondered.A deep rasp broke his train of thought. "Are you two ready yet?" Wetfoot growled.
"Easy," muttered Littlecloud. "This is their first day of training; they must be nervous."
Wetfoot shot him a warning glace, and when Littlecloud didn't respond, he snorted impatiently.Oakpaw leapt to his paws. "I'm ready!Lets go!"His brown fur vanished as he raced off toward the camp enterance.Fernpaw followed more slowly.He was beginning to wish he had taken some of his breakfast.His legs now didn't only shake with worry, but with hunger, too.
His mentor must have noticed him quivering.He padded up beside him and laid a fat mouse at his paws. "You're going to need your strength today," Littlecloud told him.Fernpaw gulped down the mouse quickly the followed his mentor down to where the others waited impatiently.
"Finally," Wetfoot growled. "I thought you were going to take till sunhigh!"
"Keep your fur on, Wetfoot," Littlecloud teased.The senior warrior just turned his tail and began padding into the marshy forest.
"We're going to show you the borders today," Littlecloud announced, and they raced off into the familiar territory.
__________________________________________________________________ Here's Chapter 2! Hope you guys like it!
And I was just wondering, do you guys think I have too much dialogue? Cuz I was reading through it and it seemed like I had A LOT of dialogue in this.