Warrior Cats: The Four Clans

Yes, I finally have time to write chapter 7! Check it out! =)
I have a new way of writing. I'm putting more description in the stories! =) Have funn!!! =)

Chapter 7
Thornpaw embraced himself for a long story and a lot of questions. He stared wearily back at the eyes that stared at him, his breath shortening from fear, his heart skipping a beat every so often. Faint sunlight streamed through the little space the moss left for it, though the air around him was cold, even with the sun and all the cats. He took a deep breath and began. "A long time ago... possibly moons, my clan, DawnClan, suffered from whitecough. Our medicine cat, Rosepad, worked day and night trying to save them, not even stopping to take a bite of prey.." He looked around and saw the apprentices and kits' eyes wide, really soaking the story in. One apprentice, or possibly warrior, an orange she-cat with pale green eye sat down close to Thornpaw, her sweet look staring into Thornpaw's expressionless, but sad face. "Soon after, Rosepad died," Thornpaw said, continuing. His honey-clolred eyes showed pain when he remembered the death and vigil of their brave medicine cat, dying to save her clan. "She didn't have an apprentice, so it left our clan with whitecough, and without a medicine cat." Thornpaw stopped to look at the cats and take a breath. "So... our clan suffereed badly. I, was lucky and didn't catch the disease, for I was carefull. One day.." His voice trailed off. He strained to get it back, "I went out to catch fresh prey. When I came back, the clan was gone. I was scared, and I didn't know where they went." He sighed. His pelt froze as the cold wind blew, but didn' bother to lick it; he was to sad. The memory flashed back into his mind, that cold winter day when he found out his tribe died, when he saw Poppystar in his dream, that day maybe a month ago. "I left the camp, searching for them, when I had a dream with Poppystar, my leader. She told me the tribe died of whitecough when I left to hunt, and I have to find a clan to build up DawnClan again. I was their only hope, and I had to do it, for DawnClan, or else there would only be 3 clans left." He stared into the peircing, supprising eyes of the cats in the different clans and sighed. "Please help me.." he finally begged, before he fell asleep dead on his paws.

I really lime this one X3! Great job timbor!!

This one is very good, Timber! Just, and don't take this offensively, because this is one of my pet peeves, look out for the 'to' and the 'too's. Also the, 'your,' and 'you're'. My teacher created me to be just like her. A total freak when it came to the different ways to write something. Though the there's don't bother me... xD All in all, I loved this one! And I wonder what the orange she-cat has to do with it... ;3 5 OUTTA 5!

I know it does, but that's how I was taught in first grade... I got an A+ in grammar. Anywho, it is hard to juggle everything about writing a story. Frome the apostraphes [sp?] to grammar, it's hard to keep up. But it gets easier and basically a second nature (if you care that much about it. xD). It's like that for me. Every grammar mistake... Well, here.

Me (in ELA class): THERE! A GRAMMA MISTAKE! *to her friend on her paper*
Friend: My gosh, Resta. How the heck do you notice that?
Me: *smug* Because it's moi you're talking to.
Friend: *throws paper* Aw shaddup.