SILENCE IS GOLDEN. YOU WILL SEE YOUR DIAMOND SHIELD IS BROKEN
Most everybody I know hears about abuse and they say Awh poor thing or Well that sucksbut they never really pay much attention to it until it happens to them.Until it happens to you, you do not realize how truly terrible it is and the psychological impact it makes on the person.Three years ago, my dad beat me until I could barely move and then kicked me out onto the street to fend for myself when he was finished.The worst part of it was that my mom just watched and told me that one day I would thank him for what he had done to me.I am a hundred percent sure I will never in my life thank my father for beating me to a pulp and casting me out on the streets of Michigan.I mean would you be able to forgive and forget something like that?If so you are a better person then I am and I admire you for that.
Growing up in Dearborn they told me that different was bad and you should always conform and never give anybody reason to talk about you.They said that if you were different from them God would turn his back on you and send you to Hell.When I was younger, I always believed them but as I got older and I realized that the things they said never really clicked together.If they are in fact right and God turns his back on his people because they are like me then he is **** and I would not want him on my side anyway.When the end of the world comes, he can leave me here with the rest of the gays, lesbians, and bisexuals and that will just fine with me.At least then, Ill find people I fit in with and who wont judge me because I dont share their views in life.
BURN IT DOWN TO THE GROUND, WORDS: 324 OUTFIT: n/a TAGGED: your mother STATUS: Its a comin. NOTES: Prologue LYRICS: when nobody loves you - kerli CREDIT:javieljones of CAUTION 2.0
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"Well get there if its where we want to be and if not, well then I guess we never really lost anything in the first place."
Jesus, what have I done to you indeed? lmao [Glad I pulled you into the whole Slash Park thing for that short amount of time now? XD Even though you support Stenny :P lol] And I have to agree with Painty, well written, very deep. I cant wait to read the rest <33
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - she's dancing alone, i'm ready to go but she's so, she's out of control, so beautiful, lost LOST IN STEREO, LOST IN STEREO and i've been waiting for so long but she'll never know i'm losing hope 'cause she's so - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - After my dad kicked me out of the house, I ended up going to live with my sister in Splendor Springs, Michigan.Adriana lives with her fiancé in a townhouse so it can get somewhat crowded sometimes so I tend to stay out of the house as much as possible to give them their space.She said she does not mind taking me in but I know Kyle does not like me being there and he reminds me too much of Dad so I can never truly be comfortable unless he is gone.
After lunch one day in late November, I decided to walk down to the park.Most of the kids who played at the park were inside like most normal people at this time of the year in Michigan except one kid who was swinging one the swing set. I approached the person from behind so all I could see was the blonde hair sticking out from under the hat.Sitting in the swing next to the person, I started to swing softly and waited for him to say something. When he did not I took it upon myself to initiate the conversation.
Hi, Im Patch Drickson. Whats your name?I felt like a kindergartener on the playground trying to make new friends but since I left Dearborn and Chance, I have only really made one friend. Do not get me wrong, I love Onie to death but I could really use more friends and plus being a girl there was not much she could do for me.
Im Greer Malachi. The boy said in a soft voice as his chocolate brown eyes search my face.
I like that name, its not something you hear every day. As I spoke the words, I saw Greers cheeks flush a pink color and I smiled. Either he blushes at every compliment or there is something there. No matter which it is it is still extremely adorable.Smiling at him, I looked down at my lap as he mumbled thanks. Nodding my head, I suddenly felt awkward and tried to think of something to say.Greer must have felt the same way because at the time I went to say something random so did he.For a few moments, we just looked at each other and then started laughing.Greers laugh was soft like his voice and had a sweet sound to it that I could listen to all day. We sat together at the park talking for a few hours until our fingers started getting numb.By the time Greer stood up, I had learned that he was adopted, he was in fact gay, his parents accepted him, and I was going home with him for dinner. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - \\WORD COUNT: 457!?\\STATUS: p2c1!? \\TAG: Patch/Greer!?\\WEARING:stuff?!?\\LYRICS: all time low;;nothing personal!? \\NOTES: Hope you like!?\\CREDIT: xosunflower@caution2.0?&&blank pages!? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-- Edited by Shatterstep on Wednesday 11th of August 2010 01:19:45 AM
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"Well get there if its where we want to be and if not, well then I guess we never really lost anything in the first place."
in the middle of the day when the sun is aching and i try to make my way but the sidewalk's breaking WATCH ME SLIP BETWEEN THE CRACKS as i fall and fall and fall and i wonder where i'll land if i ever land oh there's your hand, so incredible - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I like that name, its not something you hear every day. As I spoke the words, I saw Greers cheeks flush a pink color and I smiled. Either he blushes at every compliment or there is something there. No matter which it is it is still extremely adorable.Smiling at him, I looked down at my lap as he mumbled thanks. Nodding my head, I suddenly felt awkward and tried to think of something to say.Greer must have felt the same way because at the time I went to say something random so did he.For a few moments, we just looked at each other and then started laughing.Greers laugh was soft like his voice and had a sweet sound to it that I could listen to all day. We sat together at the park talking for a few hours until our fingers started getting numb.By the time Greer stood up, I had learned that he was adopted, he was in fact gay, his parents accepted him, and I was going home with him for dinner.
You ready to go? I cant feel my fingers and Im pretty sure Mom has dinner finished or almost finished, he said holding out his hand for me. Greers hand was pink from the cold and he had long fingers, which he put to good use by playing the piano. Taking his hand, I smiled at him and stood up interlocking our fingers together and giving his hand a light squeeze to make sure he was okay with it. That little move earned me another blush from Greer and I smiled as he led the way through the streets to his house.
As we walked through town, I noticed that Greer was leading us towards Cedar Bend where all the old houses were located in Splendor Springs. After a few minutes or walking through the woods on a dirt road, a large house came into view and I looked up at it.It was certainly a lot larger than my sisters townhouse and I felt slightly embarrassed at the thought of Greer every seeing my house after seeing his.
Mom is a very loving person and she will most likely come up and hug you and Dad will probably just shake your hand. Greer informed me shrugging his shoulders as if it was no big deal.
Do you frequently bring home guys to your parents? I asked feeling nervous as we walked past his parents cars.
Uhm no actually, I have never brought anybody home because I never get out of the house. Im kinda shy if you havent noticed and it makes it hard for me to make friends and besides, kinds in public school tend to make fun of me. Even though he was smiling, I could hear the pain in his voice as he talked about being picked on. He was short and very feminine so I could understand why he would be picked on by the douches at school.
Walking in the door, he let go of my hand so we could take off our shoes and jackets. Adjusting my plaid button up shirt I flipped my hair and fixed my pants trying to make myself look a little more presentable for his parents, although they sounded layed back and cool I still wanted to make a good first impression. Looking up I saw Greer smiling at me and I smiled back giving him a slightly confused face.
What did I do?
Nothing, I just dont think its necessary for you to try and make yourself look perfect for my parents. Honestly, I dont think they would care what you looked like. Just me making a friend is enough for them but Im sure they will love you. With a personality like yours you dont really need to worry about how you look, Greer told me and it was my turn to blush.He held out his hand for me and I looked at him unsure of what his parents would say.Dont worry, they understand. Nobody is going to yell or hit you in this house, I promise.
My father had instilled a fear in me that I have never been able to shake. Before the incident with my father, I never felt ashamed of who I was no matter what the adults and other kids told me.I always thought that if I was right with myself then I was right with God and nothing else mattered.I know I had to keep it a secret but that was all right with me and then when Chance and I got together I did not have to hide who I was from everybody. After Dad tried to beat the demons out of me, I felt ashamed of being gay. I know he was wrong and one day he might realize it but the damage he caused will never be fixable. Ever since that day, I have not felt confident in my skin and I desperately needed to feel that again. Maybe with Greer, I will be able to take pride in myself but unless I take his hand, I will never know.
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"Well get there if its where we want to be and if not, well then I guess we never really lost anything in the first place."
After a short internal debate, I took Greers pale hand in mine and together we walked into his living room where his parents were waiting for him. When we walked into the room I looked at the people on the couch and could help but tense as they looked over at us.I waited for the yelling and shouting but it never came instead, Greer introduced me to his parents.
Mom, Dad, this is my friend Patch. Greer said and I smiled at both of them. I saw his parents look down at our hands but they seemed to neither care nor think it strange and that made me relax. This is my mom Madison and that is my dad Jon.
Its nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Malachi. From what Greer has told me, you both seem like wonderful people, I told them hoping to sound polite.
Please, call me Madison. His mom said walking over and giving me a hug just as Greer had predicted but she had not given him a kiss on the cheek because just then the oven timer went off and she rushed off to the kitchen. Greer, Patch is staying for dinner? Ms. Malachi had intended it as a question but it came off as sounding like a statement instead.
Yes, Mom. Patch is staying for dinner. Greer told her and then looked at his dad who had just stood up from his chair.When Mr. Malachi stood up he passed my height of 61 and I could safely assume that he was at least 67.
It is wonderful to meet you, Patch. Im looking forward to getting to know you better over dinner. He said in a deep rumbling voice shaking my hand and then heading to the kitchen where his wife was.
I gave Greer a panicked look and he laughed softly leading me down the hall. He opened a door and pulled me in behind him. Cutting on the light he walked over to the sink, turned it on washing his hands, then dried them off putting a small drop of Germ-X on afterwards, and then waited for me to do the same.When we were both finished, we walked out, this time with our hands to ourselves, and went to the kitchen taking our place at the table.
Sitting down I looked around at the food on the table and felt my mouth water.Mrs. Malachi had cooked meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas, gravy, and honey butter rolls.I thought I was in heaven and could not wait to start eating but Greer took my hand and so did Mr. Malachi.Looking up I noticed that we were all holding hands and they had their heads bowed so I followed suit.
Bless us, O Lord and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen. When he finished everybody said Amen and started passing around the food. I took some of everything and waited until Greer started eating before I ate just in case there was something else that I was supposed to do.
So, Patch, tell us about you. Where are you from? Mr. Malachi asked me after swallowing a bite of bread. After I swallowed my bite of food, I answered his question.
Words:554 Tag:blehh Outfit:blehh Notes:c1p2 Credits: Lyrics by Cold War Kids, layout by Twaness from Caution
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"Well get there if its where we want to be and if not, well then I guess we never really lost anything in the first place."
in the middle of the day when the sun is aching and i try to make my way but the sidewalk's breaking WATCH ME SLIP BETWEEN THE CRACKS as i fall and fall and fall and i wonder where i'll land if i ever land oh there's your hand, so incredible - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I am from Frenchlyn, sir.
Frenchlyn, you say. Isnt that the small town on the Lebanese, Arabian, and Indian immigrant founded years ago? Very close-minded and inbred people live in that town. Nearly all of them are here illegally, Mr. Malachi waited for a reply to his question. I knew he was testing me to see if I would rise to the taunt and defend my town or lay down let him
Yes sir, I fall into the Indian part of the immigration rings and no my family did not smuggle their way into Michigan like many of the others. My family dates back to the first Indians in Frenchlyn and we have sense expanded our gene pool if that answers your next question. As soon as I said it, I wished I could take it back. Instead of yelling, Mr. Malachi just started to chuckle and he shook his fork at me giving me a warm smile.
I like this one, he told his family and I saw Greer relax and take a bite of his food. Patch, my boy, I do not think of your town in that way. I believe it to be a very well cultured, slightly crowded place and we could learn a lot from the people in it. Please do not think badly of me for what I have said, I simply wanted to know how far I could push you before you snapped back at me. I admire the fact that you have manners but you will also speak your mind when you feel it is necessary. He started eating again and it took me a moment to figure out what had just happened. Greers father confused me but at the same time fascinated me and made me want to talk to him.
Thank you, Mr. Malachi. I-
Please, call me Jon. I insist,
Well, Jon, I was going to say that I have to agree with you on most of what you said.The people in Frenchlyn are very close-minded and if you are not like them then they make it clear how they feel. Many of them have chosen to inbreed so they can keep the family pure but honestly, I do not see anything pure in marrying your siblings. My family was one of the few that choose to marry outside of Frenchlyn which is why my skin is not quite as dark as most of my culture.
Is that why you left? Was your family discriminated against for choosing to marry outside of the family?
This question caused me to shift awkwardly in my seat and to look down at my plate for a few minutes.Next to me, I could sense Greer becoming restless also as he mother asked the dreaded question. Taking a breath, I decided to answer the question since I knew it was bound to come up eventually. Better sooner than later if you ask me.
Actually, my parents are still in Frenchlyn. I live with my sister in a townhouse over in Hurst Wood. When I finished my sentence, I looked up to see Mrs. Malachis questioning eyes prompting me to explain further and reluctantly I did. About three years ago, my father caught me and my best friend at the time; Chance, kiss and he went ballistic. After kicking Chance out of the house he turned his anger on me and- for a moment I thought I was going to get choked up and cry as the memories of that night flooded back to me but I swallowed my fear and pain so I could continue telling the Malachi family what they wanted to know.Even Greer was leaning forwards to listen because I had not exactly given him the full story of what happened with my father.He just knew he yelled and hit me because I was gay but he did not know everything. And he started to beat me. My father had worked in the fields his whole life so he was not old man softened by age, he was still as strong and cold as ever and that night was no exception. My father punched and slapped and kicked and yelled until he slowly grew tired and bored or beating the demons from my body and then drug me through our house and into the dirty street in front of our house. There he told me that if he ever sees me again and I was still filthy and impure he would finish what he started that night. The next day Adriana came and picked me up gathering my things from the house and brought me here to Splendor Springs where Ive lived ever since, When I was finished with my story I looked up from my plate at the faces around me and they all had the same horrified expression on them, even Mr. Malachi. I-Im sorry, I need to go, I whispered and pushed myself from the table and hurried towards the door where my shoes waited for me.Before I could get them on, I felt somebody grab my arm and I turned to see Greer standing in front of me. Im sorry I ruined everything, Ill just go and-
What do you mean ruin everything? You did not ruin anything Patch. Please, dont leave, stay and finish your dinner then we can drive you home. She didnt mean to put you on the spot she was just asking a question.Greers big chocolate eyes pleaded with me and I could hardly say no to him.With a sigh, I agreed to come back and finished dinner. Nobody said anything else about Frenchlyn or my past, they just continued on with dinner like nothing had happened and for that, I am grateful. Words: 996
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"Well get there if its where we want to be and if not, well then I guess we never really lost anything in the first place."
i'll wait here forever just to see you smile. 'Cause its true, i am nothing without you. EVERYTHINGS NOTHING WITHOUT YOU through it all, i made my mistakes. i stumble and fall, but i mean these words.
How are yall doin today? We havent seen ya in awhile. I was beginning to think we wouldnt never see yall around here no more. I think I was startin ta miss ya, Patch. Madison came from Kentucky and she had a really bad accent but she pulled it off somehow and nobody made fun of her for it because shed sure enough kick somebodys ass if they did.
Awh, thanks Madison. I havent been gone that long, you know.
Yeah but I missed seein yer smilin face around here. Ya really brightened up tha place, ya know. Anywho, lets get back to tha task at hand. Whatll it be today? Madison pulled out her notepad and had her pen in position to write down whatever we told her we wanted. After we ordered our food, she gave us another smile and said, Ill get that right out to ya.
Looking over at my sister, I waited for her say something and sure enough, she started speaking as soon as Madison was gone. I picked up a pink sugar packet and played with it while I listened to her talk and waited for my turn.
Im so glad you agreed to come have lunch with me today. For a few minutes, I thought you were going to disappear as you have been doing the last few weeks. I hardly ever see you at home, unless you are eating or sleeping. Where do you go all day? Not to the park, I hope. Its much too cold to spend all day there.
Well, I am usually with Greer. We go to the library, park, and we rent movies. Mostly we just hang out at his house. I shrugged and looked up to find her mouth in a silent oh and I knew what she was thinking. Oh no, I had to pause to laugh We arent like that. We are just good friends and thats all for the moment.
For the moment? So does that mean you two have plans on becoming a thing sooner or later?
Im not really sure. I mean we get along great and we love each others company but I dont know if were to that point in our relationship. Im not saying I wouldnt mind being with Greer in a more emotional way but I am by no means going to rush into anything. Well get there if its where we want to be and if not, well then I guess we never really lost anything in the first place, I looked up again to see her smiling at me.
You know Im proud of you right? Most people would rush in headfirst and end up doing something stupid. I am glad you two are mature enough to stand back and think things through instead of just jumping in blindly. I know with you two I dont have to worry about things like teen pregnancy but there are other things that could happen that would be even more unpleasant. She paused sighing then continued What Im trying to say is I want you to be careful and I worry about you even though after what you said I dont think I really need to anymore. You have come a long way over the past few years. I hardly recognize you as the frightened little boy on the streets of Frenchlyn I had to rescue not so long ago. I had to look down so she could see the pain in my eyes as she talked about Frenchlyn and I could hear the lump in her throat as she spoke to me.
I know you are an it hasnt been easy. I still have nightmares of that day and no matter what I do, it is always on my mind. He made me question my existence and made me feel dirty and ashamed of whom I am. Although the marks are no longer visible, I still carry the scars of that day and when I look in the mirror, I can still see the evidence of what he did too me. Even though he scared me for life, I still cannot bring myself to hate him. I know I should but hes still my dad and some sick twisted part of me says he did it for my own good. I could hear my voice crack in a few places and heard Adrianas deep breath as I talked. Before it could become a full out crying frenzy, Madison showed up with our food. She sat down my corn and crab bisque, I smiled up at her as means of a thank you, and she returned it before giving Adriana her salad.
For some reason she didnt feel the need to linger any longer and I didnt really feel cheated by her early departure. For a few minutes, we ate our food in silence digesting the previous conversation. After a few moments she asked me a question, Whatever happened to Onie? I havent seen her in a while, not since you started hanging out with Greer. You didnt ditch her for Greer did you?
I was appalled she would even assume I would dump my best friend for Greer, no matter how cute he may be. Of course not! Onie is on vacation with her family in Florida and will not be back until winter vacation is over. She has not been here so I have not been able to hang out with her or ditch her. School starts back for her in less than a week so Ill be able to introduce her to Greer. I mean really, you thought I would ditch Onie. I threw my arms up in the air, What has the world come to?! I smiled at her to let her know I was just teasing and she looked relieved.
I just thought maybe you had gotten wrapped up in Greer and didnt have time for her. I mean we never talk to Im sure you can understand where Im coming from,
Nah man, its not like that. Im actually supposed to meet her at the park when she gets back. I think Ill bring Greer along so they can meet each other. I think shell like him, I told her and couldnt help but smile at the thought of having both Onie and Greer together. Onie is my best friend and Greer is, well Im not sure what Greer is yet but maybe tonight when I get this surprise Ill find out.
Well, I hope they get along, she told me taking another bite of her salad and then looking up at me again. I knew she was about to say something to I didnt take another bite of my bisque just yet and instead waited for her to speak. Have you ever noticed that when you talk about Greer you get a certain tone? Its kinda like admiration or pride maybe, Im not for sure yet. After she said this, she gave me a smile I knew very well. The same smile she gave me before asking me to lunch; she was going to propose an idea of sorts.
TAGGED: WakaWaka WORD COUNT: 1199 OUTFIT: paper bag. STATUS: hehe