Warrior Cats: The Four Clans

Stormfur · ThunderClan Warrior

Paw Pals weekly seiries

Karma · Loner

I luv stories, they are so fun to write!

Moonstar · RiverClan Leader

That message was slightly spam because it doesn't have too much of a point. ;D
Be careful!

Also, a weekly story may be too long. Trust me, you feel a need to write before that! XDD

And no need to only post sorry in your reply. That would be spam too, considering what I'm telling you is off-topic (but done for a very good reason. XD)

Karma · Loner

Ok, how about I post it ASAP that sound good?

Moonstar · RiverClan Leader

That'd be good considering your chapters are short. ;D

Stormfur · ThunderClan Warrior

I can't wait for more. :)

Karma · Loner

"Please, I'm just looking for my kit midnight! once I find her I'll leave at once!" The cat looked puzzled and said "discribe your kit" "she's all black thats it now let me be on my way!" Misty was getting restless she need her kit, the stranger then bouded and said "Please to make your aquantice Misty, I am Lavafur of riverclan, and I belive I've found your kit," Misty was stunned, but was so happy that all she could say was " My kit were?" "comeout, uh midnight." said lavafur. The kit slowly came out from the bushes, and whipered "Your not going to kill me are you?" "No" he replied, "I'm a friend"

Moonstar · RiverClan Leader

Coool! Lavafur is a cool name. XDD I am really enjoying thsi story. o:

I suggest organizing it a little better and checking garmmar (capitals too) and spelling. ;D
Also when they speak, you're doing this:
"hi" Lavafur said "i am a friend" "no your not" Misty said "i hate you" "your mean" Lavafur said

Now i know that's not what you wrote but it could be organized better.

"Hi, Lavafur said. "I am a friend."
"No you're not!" Misty said. "I hate you!"
"You're mean!" Lavafur said.

-- Edited by Moonshine at 01:10, 2007-11-09

Karma · Loner

Oh, yea, sorry I've always been bad at grammar!

Moonstar · RiverClan Leader

'Tis ok, you keep practicing. ;D
If you'd like, you can review your story over with me in PM and I'll help you correct the mistakes. ;D The story is more enjoyable to read when grammar is corrected.