Warrior Cats: The Four Clans

title: d i v / i d i n g .

summary: sometimes, there is more to you than you or your friends can see. sometimes, you need to look within yourself, and come to terms with the fact that she's gone. one-shot.

genre: angst/fiction

pairing: bearfur/silverdream

notes: making bearfur into a more in-depth character.

start;;

We were perfectly happy, she and I. It was like there was nothing that could get in our way.

 We were stronger together.

 Bearfur, she'd say, you're so strong.

 I wouldn't reply, I'd just smile. Now, I wish I could have said, Silverdream, you're so much stronger than I am.

 She was the glue that held us together. I was an anti-social warrior, refusing, sinning, repenting; all with her by my side.

 You could say that I loved her. I still love her, actually. But she's gone, and so is the only cat who ever actually understood me. Who would always say that I was loyal -

 that I was strong, fast, brave, free.

 I don't think I ever was any of that, but she saw that in me. Silverdream saw within me, a faithful warrior, loyal to my clan, loyal to my friends, loyal to my heart. But what she didn't see, was my pride.

 Pride is something I hold dear to my heart. Of course, I know of humiliation, but I take pride in my actions, I take pride in my words, I take pride in my appearance; I take pride in being prideful, no matter how sinful that may be.

 I took pride in the fact that she was always beside me, and never beside anyone else. She was a kind soul. She could smile, blush, laugh and joke like everyone, but she was loyal, definite and strong. If there was something she didn't like, she would speak against it, much to our leader's dismay. She was a fast cat with a fast tongue and faster heart.

 By faster heart, I mean she trusted. She trusted others, giving them the benefit of the doubt. I learned that trait from her. I learned from her to be gentle, kind, jovial. I learned to be free. She didn't know it that I learned from her, but I did. I always did. But I never told her, because she was so content, so beautifully content, with her thinking that I was always that way.

 That I was never a monster. That I killed without mercy.

 (I don't like thinking about it. When something traumatic happens, sometimes - sometimes your mind blocks it from your memories. Stores it away, deep within a hole, never to be touched again.)

 So I pretended with her, to make her happy. But every single living soul has a breaking point. And that one day, I reached mine.

 (So that's what happened. The memory of that day lies tucked within a deep, deep hole that I dare not enter.)

 I was being selfish. I didn't want to pretend anymore because I was tired. I didn't care if she wasn't happy. I was dying while playing pretend.

 I regret every word I said that night. Whatever I had said, she had gone - and then left me completely. Sometimes, in a romantic gesture, I imagine her in TigerClan camp. And - even if I know this isn't true because they all tell me they found her - it makes me feel a little better.

 I'm sorry, I had said, that I said those words to you. I'm sorry that I played pretend for so long. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

 I swore from that day on, I would change. I wouldn't be so prideful, so cruel, so lost. I would be kind, gentle, jovial. I would know humiliation like the backs of my eye lids. I would be strong.

 Just for her.

-- Edited by Florestapaw on Wednesday 17th of August 2011 01:26:57 AM

-- Edited by Florestapaw on Tuesday 30th of August 2011 10:40:10 PM

thank you! and i think it might affect his relationship with the others at one point, just because i'm that cruel to bearfur... haha. but this probably will affect him and nightfang, depending on where their relationship leads.

i'm gonna say that this is something that the whole clan knew about and stuff. also, bearfur and silverdream were never really together like a couple, but they never separated from each other.

8O.... So awesome!! Hurray for Nightfang's cameo! This helps a lot with figuring out how Bearfur thinks, especially about Nightfang XD Guess were just going to have to see where their friendship goes :D

title: rose petals.

summary: even the most famous marauder had something to hide.

genre: friendship/romance/angst

pairing: sirius/OC

notes: i always wondered about sirius's love-life... considering he was wildly popular with the girls, what about the girl he liked? know that this is a popular topic in harry potter fics, however, i enjoy writing it all the same. i like to think she was an introverted nerd with a slightly pretty face. and that, like all immature boys, bullied her because he liked her.

ignore the title.

part1 of a two part drabble/two-shot.

story / begin ;;

I always was the most popular of the four of us. Narcisstic? Yes. But it's also the truth. Out of the four of us - Wormtail, Prongs and Moony - I was the one who had the most girls following me around. Who got the most chocolate every Valentine's Day. Who got the most presents every Christmas. But I find rather ironic how the girl I fell for had no eye for anything but her studies.

Most conversations went like this:

"Oh, hello there, m'dear." Insert suggestive wink here.

"Back off, Black. I have an essay due on Friday." It happens to be Monday.

Then she'd push her slim glasses up her nose - she really should get those fixed - and rearrange the five scrolls tucked under one arm, an over-stuffed messanger bag hanging off her other shoulder.

I tried a different tactic the other day. What a complete and utter failure...

"Do you need help?" I try to be helpful. Often.

"No. Honestly, just helping me won't make me forget about that awful prank you pulled on me during our third year, Black." I'm so stupid. So I decided to play stupid.

"What ever do you mean, Emily?" Insert hateful glare from aforementioned girl here.

"Sirius Black, if you do not move from that very spot within thirty seconds I will hex you until you're purple and hanging by your ankle from the chandelier. Now move." I held my hands up in defeat.

Did I mention we're leaving for the very last Christmas break of our Hogwarts career in three days and Emily still hates me? No? Well, there you go. We're in our seventh year, and Emily has hated me all seven years of our school career.

I suppose it was quite stupid for me to have pulled that prank on her in third year, but she changed after that. I pulled the prank because I thought she was cute - bullying the girls you liked was all the rage back then - and it backfired.

As we grew, I fell deeper in love. Now, don't tell me, Sirius, this isn't love. Because I'm bloody well sure that this feeling I get is love. Thankfully, I can hide it better than James can. However sometimes I wonder if sending Emily flowers every day would make her like me a little bit more?

[ Though then again, she might be murdered by that scary pack of... fan-girls. That follow me around. Everywhere. And have had it out for Emily since fourth year, when I confessed to her. ]

"Emily?" We're leaving tomorrow, James and I.

"What could you possibly want now, Sirius?" She's packing her bags neatly into the corner of the common room, even though I know - and she knows - that she isn't going to move from her Gryffindor dorms the entire Christmas break.

"Why are you packing?" I splutter. I just messed up. How can I... How can this girl make me mess up my words? I frown. Wait. She called me Sirius.

"Is that any of your business?" Glare. On her glasses, I mean. The light from the fire does no good for her. I can't see her eyes.

"No. Of course not." I back off and she sighs. Kicking them messily into the corner, I watch as she plops down on a sofa.

"Shouldn't you go find James? You two are leaving tonight as usual, correct?" She tucks her legs beneath her. After a sharp in-take of breath, I realize that she remembers that I leave with James every year. I could scream in joy.

"Yes, but we've been packed since yesterday." I hope she doesn't question me.

"Good thinking." She glances towards me. Her eyes tell me she doesn't have any spirit to fight with me tonight. Not when there's no one around. Not when she doesn't have to protect herself.

"Emily?" Glance.

"What."

"Are you okay when you stay here during Christmas break? Does it get lonely?" She hides her face.

"Of course." Softer voice.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely sure?" Skeptical stare, but a soft smile.

"Yes, Sirius. Absolutely sure." A mask seems to fall off her face. I like her smile when she smiles at me. But she seems so tired.

"You won't be spending it all doing work, will you? You'll be opening presents and wrapping them, too?" The mask slips back on.

"Good night, Black. And an earily Merry Christmas to you and the Potter's." She slips upstairs. I don't get another chance to speak to her. And it hits me.

"Good night, Emily."

She does care.